There is no baby this month, and it's acceptance of this truth that brings me to my knees in sorrow. I know there are millions of people in this world who are suffering, and I know that many of these millions are suffering for reasons far greater than mine. There are women in this world who have a child, but they have no food to give them, and they see their little bodies whither away to bones. There are women who did have a child, but they had to bury him/her after a disease stole them away. There are women who had a child, but they don't know where that child is today. I know it could be worse, much worse, yet my soul is still heavy in sorrow and grief.
August 2, 2009
IUI #1-Failed
I took a pregnancy test this morning since it's been 12 days since my trigger shot. I knew if it came back positive that I wasn't necessarily pregnant since some traces of the shot could still be in my system, but at the same time, I could very well be pregnant. I also knew if it came back negative that I was 100% not pregnant. It came back as negative as negative could be. There wasn't even the faintest hint of a second line.
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Sorry to hear this :( I don't have many words for you, but keep praying and keep your head high. You will be a "mother" to many cute little five year olds quite soon and they will love you and need you more than you know. I know it doesn't fill the hurt, but know that these kids are blessed to have you as their teacher and each of them is put in your care for a reason. Know that I love you both and hope to speak to you soon. Take care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteAllison, I am sorry. I know there aren't many words that I can say to make you feel better right now, but I will continue to keep you and Karl in my thoughts and prayers. Love you!
ReplyDeleteMy hearts hurts for you and Karl. You have remarkable poise to be able to put things into perspective and think about women who are in a more difficult situation than you. I know I wouldn't be this poised. I would just be wallowing in my own sadness with no perspective. Please know that I love you dearly and am continuing to pray for you on this journey.
ReplyDeleteAllison....
ReplyDeleteI have great respect and admiration for you and how you have handled every bump along your journey. God has every single detail of your life planned out already and He knows the perfect time for all of your hopes and dreams to come true. I know that you and Karl are going to be incredible parents...there is no doubt in my mind that your miracle will come...it is hard to let your heavenly Father take control sometimes...but He will always provide everything we need. I love you both and know that you are in my thoughts and prayers:))
Stephanie