Loving this baby

We had an appointment today with my high risk doctor to look at my cervical length, but the sweet ultrasound lady did an ultrasound on my stomach first so we could see what Cooper was up to this morning. Last time we went for a cervical check, they only looked at my cervix, so this was a nice surprise. With each ultrasound I am more in awe of this little baby. The things he does, the way he moves, the rate at which he's growing all just melt my heart! Today my favorite part was seeing him yawn. I didn't know he could do that! As he yawned, we could see his little tongue moving in his mouth. We also saw that Cooper has chubby cheeks today, which he definitely gets from me, but it looks like he has Karl's mouth. It will be so neat to see who this baby looks like.

My cervical length was good. The only way to get a true measurement on cervical length is with a vaginal ultrasound, so I knew the measurement from last week at the ob's office was not truly accurate since it was done during an abdominal ultrasound; however, it was nice to think that my cervix had grown! My measurement today was the exact same as it was 3 weeks ago, which is good. There wasn't any shortening or funneling, and that is definitely a blessing. I hope it stays that way too! Dr. G. said once I hit 24 weeks, he probably won't measure anymore since the baby can survive if born after that point. My goal is to make it to at least 36 weeks, and I can't even tell you how excited I would be if I was still pregnant after my due date!

Blessed

Do you ever have those moments where you look around and are amazed by your own life? At times it seems so extraordinary that you can't believe it could be possibly be your life? I have these moments often. Sometimes I would have these moments when we were walking through our infertility journey, and the acceptance of the situation could bring immediate tears to my eyes. However, more often than not, these moments bring me a joy that fills every ounce of my being.

Many mornings when I walk into my classroom and the morning light shines across the room or I'm sitting in my rocking chair reading to my students and I look at their little faces, I can't believe that I'm living a dream I played as a child, where instead of a classroom and students I had stuffed animals lined up in rows in my bedroom and a little chalk board I used to teach them whatever crossed my mind.

After 4 years of marriage, I find myself quite often looking at Karl and being unable to believe I'm his wife. It feels like I should still be 12 years old staring googly eyed at him through the dining room window as he and the other boys who grew up on our street play baseball in the cul-de-sac in front of my house, and this life we've created together is nothing more than a fantasy I'm daydreaming about at that moment.

Tonight I walked into our guest room, which is where all Cooper's things are being stored right now until his room is ready for them to be moved into. Upon opening the door and turning on the light, I just stopped and stared. Clothes are laid out all over the bed in stacks based on their little sizes. Bathroom supplies, diapers, and wipes are in a corner. Toys and his stroller line the wall. Burp cloths, bibs, and blankets are piled in a chair. Are all those precious baby things really for my child? Has God really granted me this desire of my heart? I have similar moments every time I pass by a window or a mirror and see my reflection. The belly that sticks out is actually housing my son as he grows and develops. My son.

How humble my heart feels at these moments, and there are so many of them. With each dream come true, I can't describe how blessed I feel. As a little girl, I dreamed of being a teacher. As a young teenager, I dreamed of marrying Karl. But always, there was the dream of being a mommy. A dream I have longed for as long as I can remember and not-so-long-ago thought might always be out of my reach is now my reality. God has truly given me a blessed life.

The 4 B's of Pregnancy

1. Boobs

2. Belly

3. Butt

4. BIG

I love how my body is changing with this pregnancy, and I especially love that my first 3 listed B's have already grown so much! I know this feeling might change as the months progress, but I truly don't think so. I get great joy at looking down and seeing cleavage (never had that before) and looking back and seeing a butt. Of course my favorite is turning to the side and seeing the growing belly that sticks out!

19 weeks

Good Doctor's Appointment

We had our 18 week appointment today, and it went great. After the appointment a month ago when my cervix looked short and showed possible funneling, I have been very nervous about doctor's appointments! Today my cervix actually measured longer than it has at any point. God sure does answer prayers! I was so excited about the measurement that I was ready to dance around the room! :)

Little Man looked really great! I haven't seen him for 4 weeks now, so I couldn't wait to see him! Today we could see his stomach, bladder, kidneys, ears, and so much more. He wasn't doing his normal acrobatics for us, but he did kick some, roll over so we could get a good look at his spine and brain, and rub his face with his hand. While we were waiting I could feel him moving a lot, so I think he wore himself out before the ultrasound! It was precious to see him rub his face though. At one point he rolled on his side, and it looked like he was looking right at us. He measured larger than his age again today (he is now 7 inches long and weighs 1/2 a pound). Typically, he has measured 2-3 days ahead, but today he was 8 days ahead. The ultrasound tech said we might have just miscalculated my ovulation. I almost laughed because there was so miscalculating that with us! However, there is a possibility that he might have been conceived at home a couple nights before the IUI since he has always been a couple days bigger than the calculations show, and Karl and I like to think that's how it happened. :) I really got tickled when she measured his stomach. It measured 19 weeks, 6 days (keep in mind I'm only 18 weeks, 2 days). Little Man is going to be a chunk!! She commented that he definitely seems to be well fed!

As we watched him on the screen, I just keep thinking of all the prayers have been already been answered. He is a blessed baby to have had so many people pray for him all along, and Karl and I sure are blessed to have so many people-some we don't even know-pray for us and our baby.

Showered

I had my baby shower at school yesterday, and it was simply amazing! Everything was so beautiful, and the details in the decorations were incredible. When I walked into the room, I couldn't help but cry. I have never felt so overwhelmed by love. What a wonderful feeling!

My friend Beth (she teaches 2nd grade) painted this for Cooper's room. That Bible verse is my favorite!

This is the kindergarten group! These girls mean so much to me.

Back Left to Right: Casey, Heather, Karen, Luanne

Front Left to Right: Mindy, me, Denise, and Jesse

5 years ago God placed me at a school that would literally shape my new adult life. I was fresh out of college and looking to find my dream job. The first time I saw my school, I knew in my heart it was where I was supposed to be.

The people inside that building have become very much a family to me. God has used that school and the people in it to change my life. I can't imagine what I would have done during our infertility journey had I not had the friends in that building. They surrounded me in love, support, and encouragement day after day. It was an amazing feeling yesterday to get to celebrate this baby with them after such a long road to get there!

Thank you for such a special shower! Yesterday is full of memories I will cherish the rest of my life!