Today

Today the weather was beautiful-the sky was blue with scattered puffy clouds, there was a nice breeze, and the temperature was warm; it was really beautiful. As my little kindergarteners played at recess, I sat there and just soaked in the sun on my face and the sound of the kids as they played. My favorite sound in the world is children's laughter, and I was surrounded by it this afternoon. Tomorrow it's back to typical January weather-cold, rainy, yucky.
Since we started down this valley in our life, I have felt emotions at an intensity I never imagined possible. I have felt disappointment to the point of heartbreak, bitter sadness, and an anger that I'm ashamed to acknowledge. I have physically ached from the emotional pain the infertility has caused. I've also felt one positive emotion at just as great an extreme-hope. Some days I feel like that one emotion carries me through the rest of the emotions. I am hopeful that God not only hears my prayers but will answer them; I'm hopeful that God will fill my womb with life.
Today was a beautiful day that looked and felt like spring, and it's the middle of winter. Today was a preview of what's to come in the next few months. Today was a day where God reminded me of how wonderful, beautiful, and joyful things can be after dreary days. Today was a day of hope for what is to come.