Updates

Here are a whole bunch of updates and pictures! I am going to try to start doing much better keeping the blog updated after this! :)

• Doctors' Updates: Our most recent appointment was on March 22nd. We met with our high risk doctor first and then my ob. We had met with them 2 weeks before that as well. The earlier appointment was a follow up from my cerclage. When my ob's office did my ultrasound and cervical length check for the follow up, the baby looked great, but my cervix did not. For whatever reason, my cervix was measuring very short and was showing that it was beginning to funnel (NOT GOOD!). We were then rushed down the hall to my high risk doctor's office. They have very advanced equipment there. Fortunately, their ultrasound measured my cervix a good bit bigger than the other one did and it did not show funneling. They both told us to come back for appointments two weeks later. Let me just say, that turned into a very long two weeks for me! Even though things looked much better during the 2nd ultrasound, I was a nervous wreck! At our more recent appointment, my cervix had shortened just a little bit, but it was still measuring well enough to please my high risk doctor. (Remember he's brutally honest, which I'm happy to know now. I feel like if there was a concern, he would have no problem telling me!). The high risk doctor did tell us that he has no reason to believe that this pregnancy will spiral downward. That's good to hear from him! Since he was happy was things, my ob was too. Naturally, I was still worried though. Why is it shortening this soon? What can I do to stop it? How will this effect this pregnancy? Will the baby be in any stress or trouble because of this? Our baby and this pregnancy are in God's hands, and I have to have faith here that everything will be perfectly okay. We go back to my ob on April 5th and the high risk doctor on April 12th.
• Baby Boy: At our 14 week appointment, we could see that the baby is definitely a boy! I didn't feel right posting the ultrasound pictures to prove it though. :)
• Pregnancy Stuff: Morning sickness and I never crossed paths! My gag reflex is stronger than normal sometimes, which makes brushing my teeth a little difficult some days. My energy is starting to come back, which is really nice. I was told to start sleeping on my sides. This is not going well because I've always slept on my stomach or back. Also, I have to get up at least once a night to go to the bathroom, and then I have the hardest time falling back asleep. It sometimes takes hours. Karl hasn't been sleeping well either (he gets my pregnancy symptoms sometimes too), and I am convinced that God is preparing us for a child that won't sleep! The main difference I have felt is hunger. I am always hungry, actually make that starving! Also, when we walk into restaurants, I get so excited about eating that my mouth fills up with saliva and I have to concentrate on not drooling. Now I know how Sadie feels when I give her her dinner! I have craved the unhealthiest things: chocolate cake with chocolate icing, cheeseburgers, chips, soft-serve ice cream with sprinkles, and lately it's been Mexican food. I could truly eat chips and salsa all day long. I'm a little concerned when this baby comes out we'll have to call him Juan because of all the Mexican food I've eaten! :)

17 week belly picture

• Registering: Karl and I registered last week and had a great time! I was a little scared to go because I thought I would get completely overwhelmed and then feel like a terrible mom for not knowing what we need! I looked at friends' registries before we went and talked to friends who had children, and I made a list based on what they said. That helped a lot!
• Cooper's Stuff: Here are pictures of some of the things Cooper has already gotten. I just get so excited thinking about him playing with and wearing these things!!!

Here's his bedding! I thought I would have a hard time picking out bedding I liked, but this was love at first sight. I also got the elephant mural/sticker from PBK to go above his changing table. I think we're going to do two large frames side-by-side above his crib and put two of his newborn pictures in them. We haven't gotten furniture yet, but I know we want dark brown.

I bought this diaper bag the week after we switched to Dr. H. last year. I was trying to have a better attitude and think positive, so I bought this as a little treat to help me get excited!

I love all this baby stuff! The blanket and toy are from Karl's cousin's family. The precious elephant bib and washcloths (seersucker, blue striped, and elephant) are from my friend Jesse, the pacifier clip (seersucker with putting greens) is from our friends Kathryn and Shane, and the booties are from my mom.

This is a the first outfit I bought him. :)

This is Karl's stuffed animal, La Mutt, from when he was little and a poem called "Why God Made Little Boys" from his nursery. I think it will be so special for Cooper to have these things in his nursery! 

Is this bear not the cutest thing you've ever seen?!?! Karl's Aunt Ellen sent it to us earlier this week. He is the perfect size and is so soft! I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I carry it from room to room with me so I can stare it. It really is that cute!

Here are Cooper's stuffed animals: the little dog blanket is from a little girl in my class (it is very, very soft), the sheep is from Karl's parents (I love it because it makes soothing sounds and has a timer to turn itself off after so many minutes), the frog rattle is from Maleah, and then there's the cutest bear in the world and La Mutt.

Roll Tide! Jennifer got him a little hat, booties, and elephant to get him ready for football season!

I have been an awful blogger lately! I don't update as often as I should, and when I do, my posts are ridiculously long! I promise I will do a good, happy, pregnancy update this weekend, but just not now.

In November, I typed about Dr. H. telling us that one day infertility would be behind us and the emotions I felt when she said that. It was impossible for me to believe that those wounds could ever heal. Even now, I often wonder if they will ever go away. Obviously, the pain is not as it was, nor are the wounds still as open, but they're there. I still feel the "sting". Karl and I are so blessed that infertility is now behind us. I know with time, any pain I still feel from infertility will all but disappear. The wounds will become scars, but the scars will always remain with us, just as they should. I learned a lot about myself, God, and what faith means during that journey. With time, I hope those scars will be something I wear with pride. I hope our story will show others that God is faithful even to the unfaithful.

There are many days when I am still amazed that I am pregnant. I just get overwhelmed with joy at knowing I get to experience such a divine miracle! You know how some people say they pinch themselves to make sure they're not dreaming... well, I carry around 3 pregnancy tests I took in December in my purse (yes, it's true!). I have a stack of ultrasound pictures and a noticeably larger belly, but for some reason, I find great comfort in those 3 sticks I peed on! :) Before we found out this joyful news, I had allowed myself to believe this would never happen for us. How thankful I am that God has control over what will and won't happen! I was never as hopeful or trusting as I should have been during our journey. Instead, I was easily so easily discouraged. I had such little faith that at times it was nearly impossible to see. I actually thought that God had forgotten me. Somehow, I was His forgotten child. And now as I sit here with a baby growing in me, I am so humbled by God's love. I was never forgotten; I was never even alone. In those darkest moments, God was with me.

A friend introduced me to a blog last year, and this particular posts weighed heavy on my mind today as I noticed all the beautiful life blooming in this new season. There is something about spring that truly refreshes the soul. All I could about was one word: Redemption!

http://conorbootheandgirls.blogspot.com/2009/01/keeping-awake.html

The Name Game

I always thought I'd be one of those moms who still wouldn't have a name for her child when the child was born. I never thought I would be able to name my children with ease. Therefore, I've been making Karl play the name game with me since we got married. Turns out he's a lot pickier than me! Also, being a teacher has one major job hazard: It makes naming your children very difficult. So many names become associated with specific children, and I have lost many names I was fond of because of this! However, there was always one name we agreed on.

Cooper

When I first started thinking of baby names, I suggested Cooper one time, and to my surprise, Karl liked it. There are only two other boy names that Karl ever remotely liked during our years of me suggesting many, many names. Cooper was his favorite, and mine too. However, I knew how flip-floppy I could be on changing my mind, so I figured we would change our minds many times before we actually had a son.

In the spring of 2008, we had started talking about trying to get pregnant and planned on beginning to try that summer. Karl went to the Masters Golf Tournament that year with a friend and brought me back a special present-a little teddy bear dressed in golf clothes. It wasn't really for me though; it was for our baby. That was his way of letting me know he was ready to start trying too. My heart absolutely melted. When I looked at the tag on the bear, it said it was a Cooperstown Bear. Karl didn't see that when he bought it, but we both laughed about it and knew that our little boy would definitely be named Cooper now!

After several years of dreaming of my own little Cooper, it's just amazing to think that he's growing inside me right now and in 5 1/2 months, we'll get to finally meet him!

The Stitch, Part II

Yesterday went really well! It turned out to be a great day altogether. We had an appointment with our high-risk doctor first, and we had a very detailed ultrasound while we were there. The baby looks great! Then we made our way to the women's waiting room, and I only sat down about 5 minutes before getting called back. I had the most wonderful nurses our entire time there, and the surgery itself went really well. The whole hospital/surgery thing was very new to me (before yesterday the extent to my medical attention was getting cavities filled!), but nothing about it was bad. They ended up doing a spinal block instead of an epidural to numb me, which worked great, but getting it wasn't bad either. Also, Dr. K. put 2 stitches in instead of 1 to help ensure the cerclage is successful. Overall, I feel more prepared now for when we go back to have the baby in 6 months!

Just FYI, it looks like we're having a son! It is still a little early to know for sure, but we were told yesterday that it is highly, highly, highly likely that our little one is a little boy!

As another side note, I have gotten so many text messages since Sunday afternoon, and I feel awful for not returning them! The problem is I can't read them! I dropped my cell phone on our kitchen floor Sunday morning, and now the screen is completely white and the top part of the phone is barely attached to the bottom part. I'm up for a new cell phone on Saturday, thank goodness, but until then, I can't make calls, know if I have missed calls, or read text messages; I can receive phone calls though.

The Stitch

On Monday I am having a cerclage done, which is when they put a stitch in your cervix to try to keep you from dilating early. It was recommended by Dr. H. (fertility specialist) and Dr. G. (high risk specialist), and Dr. K. (OB) thought it was a really good idea too. During my HSG (dye test) last year, we found out that my uterus was little and T-shaped. When Dr. H. was telling us this, I lit up because I thought that it was so appropriate and cute for a kindergarten teacher who spends day after day teaching the alphabet to have a body part shaped like a letter. I can still see the look on Dr. H.'s face when I said this to her! Apparently, that's not how it's supposed to be. It's supposed to look like an upside down pear. One of the scary things about a T-shaped uterus is that you can go into labor early, possibly too early. In an effort to prevent that, Dr. K. is going to sew my cervix shut (she said it's just one stitch that they pull together like purse strings; I don't think that makes it sound anymore pleasant though).

I'm a little nervous about this. I will walk through fire for this little one, but I don't want anything to happen to it. There are risks with everything, and the cerclage is no exception. However, the risks are minimal, and the benefits are great. I'm still scared though. I know so many of you have prayed for us through all of this, and for each prayer, I am very grateful. If you think about it, please say another little prayer on Monday that everything will go great, and our precious baby will be and will stay completely safe and happy in my womb.

Surprise Party

I have wonderful friends. I know everyone thinks their friends are special, but mine really are!

A couple weeks ago, my friends planned a "progressive dinner" to which I said I could not go. The first trimester fatigue was getting the best of me, and I just wouldn't be able to make it. Karl kept pushing and pushing us going, so I told him that he needed to be more understanding and respectful of me during this time. Well, I actually yelled at him and told him he was being a big jerk and needed to leave me alone, but I think it sounds better the other way! After making me feel really bad about not going, I agreed to go...but only for a little bit. Well, I sure am glad I did!

The night was not actually about a progressive dinner, but it was a surprise party to celebrate our little blessing. I could not have been more surprised! These girls have been through so much with me, and they were so comforting and encouraging when we were trying to get pregnant. To celebrate with them meant the world to me! Here are some pictures of that special night.

We ate mini-barbeque sandwiches, chips and salsa, chips with a great cheese dip, jalapenos stuffed with cream cheese and wrapped in bacon, fruit salsa with cinnamon pita chips, pound cake, and some very special cupcakes.

Here are our cupcakes! The chocolate ones spelled out "Congratulations!" and the white ones had polka dots on them.

My wonderful friends! We all went to college together, but I have known some of these girls since middle school! From left to right: Maleah, Carlee, Lauren, me, Donielle, Melissa, Leah, and Megan. Anne Marie and Grace arrived right after the picture.

Thanks, Honey, for talking me into coming!

Thank you so much for my special party! I am very blessed to have each of you as friends!

How We Found Out I Was Pregnant

I promised a post on the day we found out, so here it is...

After our IUI on December 9th, Dr. H. told us we had about a 3% chance of it working. The odds were not in our favor. As I laid on the table for my 20 minute post-IUI rest, Away in a Manger was playing over the speakers. As a little girl that was my favorite Christmas song. I just remember thinking about the words a nurse had said to us 2 days before, "Maybe you'll get a Christmas miracle." Maybe...

As the days after the IUI passed, I began to think Dr. H. was right-the IUI hadn't worked. The OHSS I was promised because of my escalated estrogen numbers never occurred, and there was no tenderness in my chest. I even remember looking at Karl one morning and asking him if he would truly be okay if we never had children. This man would support me no matter what, so he of course answered yes, a life with just me would be fine with him. Little did we know that God had already made us parents by that morning.

On December 21st, I went to the doctor's office to have my blood taken, as was my weekly habit. I was a little annoyed at having to go when I "knew" I wasn't pregnant. Within a couple hours, which is much earlier than normal, the doctor's office called and left me a message asking me to call them because they needed to talk to me. I panicked. What had my crazy hormones done now?!?! Karl said they probably were just going to try to set up an IVF meeting with us for the first of the year. Never did it enter our minds that we were about to hear the most wonderful words we'd ever heard. When the nurse returned my phone call 2 hours after I returned hers, she simply said, "It looks like Santa came early." I was baffled. What was she talking about? She must have picked up on my confusion because she then said, "You're pregnant!" What did she say? How could it be? I'm pregnant? I'm pregnant! My first response was, "Are you sure?" She affirmed that she was sure and my beta count was great. All I could say the remainder of our conversation (which I have never been able to recall) was, "I can't believe it!" When Karl and I got home, I took a digital home pregnancy test because I had convinced myself that somehow the doctor's office had confused my results with someone else's, and within a minute 'Pregnant' popped up. Pure shock set in at that point!

People have asked me if I cried, and I didn't. People have asked if I laughed with joy, and I didn't. I was beyond amazed, and the entire day became surreal to me. I felt like I was in a dream. I was overcome with pure joy in a way I've never experienced before. It is so hard to describe the emotions from that glorious day. I could compare it to that first breath you take after being under water for almost too long. I could compare it to walking into a brightly lit room after being in complete darkness. I could compare it to turning a corner on a deserted, treacherous path and seeing the most beautiful field of flowers. However, I know that no words or comparisons can accurately depict how wonderful and life-changing and beautiful that day was.

It was one phone call that started us on our journey through infertility, and one phone call that changed our path and started us on a new journey. It's amazing how a few words spoken in a matter of seconds can completely change your life.