After our IUI on December 9th, Dr. H. told us we had about a 3% chance of it working. The odds were not in our favor. As I laid on the table for my 20 minute post-IUI rest, Away in a Manger was playing over the speakers. As a little girl that was my favorite Christmas song. I just remember thinking about the words a nurse had said to us 2 days before, "Maybe you'll get a Christmas miracle." Maybe...
As the days after the IUI passed, I began to think Dr. H. was right-the IUI hadn't worked. The OHSS I was promised because of my escalated estrogen numbers never occurred, and there was no tenderness in my chest. I even remember looking at Karl one morning and asking him if he would truly be okay if we never had children. This man would support me no matter what, so he of course answered yes, a life with just me would be fine with him. Little did we know that God had already made us parents by that morning.
On December 21st, I went to the doctor's office to have my blood taken, as was my weekly habit. I was a little annoyed at having to go when I "knew" I wasn't pregnant. Within a couple hours, which is much earlier than normal, the doctor's office called and left me a message asking me to call them because they needed to talk to me. I panicked. What had my crazy hormones done now?!?! Karl said they probably were just going to try to set up an IVF meeting with us for the first of the year. Never did it enter our minds that we were about to hear the most wonderful words we'd ever heard. When the nurse returned my phone call 2 hours after I returned hers, she simply said, "It looks like Santa came early." I was baffled. What was she talking about? She must have picked up on my confusion because she then said, "You're pregnant!" What did she say? How could it be? I'm pregnant? I'm pregnant! My first response was, "Are you sure?" She affirmed that she was sure and my beta count was great. All I could say the remainder of our conversation (which I have never been able to recall) was, "I can't believe it!" When Karl and I got home, I took a digital home pregnancy test because I had convinced myself that somehow the doctor's office had confused my results with someone else's, and within a minute 'Pregnant' popped up. Pure shock set in at that point!
People have asked me if I cried, and I didn't. People have asked if I laughed with joy, and I didn't. I was beyond amazed, and the entire day became surreal to me. I felt like I was in a dream. I was overcome with pure joy in a way I've never experienced before. It is so hard to describe the emotions from that glorious day. I could compare it to that first breath you take after being under water for almost too long. I could compare it to walking into a brightly lit room after being in complete darkness. I could compare it to turning a corner on a deserted, treacherous path and seeing the most beautiful field of flowers. However, I know that no words or comparisons can accurately depict how wonderful and life-changing and beautiful that day was.
It was one phone call that started us on our journey through infertility, and one phone call that changed our path and started us on a new journey. It's amazing how a few words spoken in a matter of seconds can completely change your life.
I could hear that story over and over. You'll have to start posting baby-bump pictures soon!
ReplyDeleteSorry, anonymous was me....meant to leave my name.
ReplyDeleteJennifer
Well glad I hadnt put any mascera on...it would have been gone if I did....SO EXCITED!!!!!
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