Follow the Leader

Well, as I set out on this new path I had chosen, I was quickly led backwards. I have prayed continuously for God's guidance, and apparently God did not agree with my choice. When I say I was "quickly led backwards," I mean quickly. Like, I posted that last post, thought about how amazingly at peace I was with my decision, and walked from the computer to the bathroom, where low and behold, guess who started her period like a normal girl on day 28? You guessed it...me! I have never started on day 28...NEVER! Even when I was on birth control, my periods were longer than that. I was in complete disbelief. In fact, I didn't know what day of my cycle it was because I didn't keep track and I never once considered (the thought never crossed my mind) that I would start on my own before at least day 45.

Karl and I went to the doc yesterday, and I was cleared to go. My massive cyst has shrunk to just over 1 cm, and the others are gone. I might be able to grow some cysts, but I can shrink them too! I'll begin taking my medicines tonight and continue through at least next Wednesday.

I have to admit that I'm very apprehensive about taking medicines and pursuing this cycle. My heartache is still just as present as it was before I started. The ending to our last try cycle was nothing short of devastating, and just knowing that we are quickly coming upon the day when I found about the pcos is enough of an emotional roller coaster. It was the beginning of September last year when I first called the doctor's office and set up an appointment because I couldn't let go of that feeling that something wasn't right. I know we've come far, but every step has been hard.

Karl and I have agreed that we're taking this one day at a time, and I'm praying that God will give me the emotional strength to get through this-one way or another-and accept that this is all His plan. He is our leader, and He will guide our path.