Graduation Day #2

Graduation Day #1 was graduating from our fertility specialist back in January, and Graduation #2 was graduating from the high risk doctor today. Yes, that's right, we graduated! We have been with a high risk doctor because of my uterus being T-shaped, which greatly increased my chances for having Little Man too early. Dr. G. said he would monitor me up until I was 24 weeks, and then after that we would be out of the scariest part of the pregnancy, and he would leave me with just my ob. Even though I'm not 24 weeks, I still got to graduate today since my cervix has been so wonderfully cooperative lately. Our biggest scare came at 17 weeks when my cervix only measured 2.7 cm. After that, my measurements began to grow as my uterus grew and stretched upward, thus taking the pressure off my cervix. Today I measured over 4 cm, which is really great! Dr. G. said he didn't want to see us again until we were bringing the baby by to meet everyone at the office. :)

I asked the nurse if we could also look at Little Man since I hadn't felt him kick as much in the past week. I was thinking that he had possibly turned himself upside down and had his feet down now. Little Man is apparently trying to work on his flexibility and has positioned himself quite uniquely within my womb. He is head down and legs down too. Which leaves his little bottom facing upward. We couldn't help but laugh when we saw him because it was such an odd position. However, he seems perfectly content to hang out like that right now and was just sucking and chewing on his thumb. He would suck on his thumb for a little bit, take it out of his mouth, chew on it, and then resume to sucking. It was really cute!

Here is a belly shot from today (23 weeks, 2 days). I look awful, but I knew if I posted today without a picture, I might get in trouble with some people!

Working on Cooper's Room

Although I don't have pictures, we are hard at work on Little Man's room. We bought the bedding very early on, and then I suffered a decorator's block (like a writer's block). I'm not a very good decorator anyway, and I'm even worse at spending money. However, Little Man needs his own room, so after a lot of thought, I finally figured out how I wanted his room to look. I bought curtains and a rug the other day, and today was furniture shopping day. Karl and I got up fairly early for a Saturday, got dressed, went to Cracker Barrel for breakfast, and then to the furniture store. I felt like Goldilocks in there. The first crib we looked at was the one I had picked out online and loved but wasn't so much in love with the price; the second one was the one Karl had picked out in the options I showed him online, but it definitely didn't look as good in person; the third one was perfect. I was a little nervous because it was also the only one that didn't have a price tag on it; however, it turned out it was the cheapest of the three and it was 10% off today! As for the glider, the first one was too hard; the second one was too uncomfortable; but the third one was just right! We had a great time, and it was just so exciting picking out furniture for our baby. It was a day that I have dreamed about for a long time!

p.s. Belly bump pictures coming soon...hopefully tomorrow...prepare to be amazed at the growth!

One more afterthought for anyone who may be interested...The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Season 2 starts Monday. As you may recall from last summer, I LOVE this show! :)

National Infertility Awareness Week

Today is the last day of National Infertility Awareness Week. I know it might seem odd to still blog about infertility, but I know that God brought us to and through that broken path for a reason. I hate to put the feelings and lessons I learned behind me and close that door on a time that had such a huge impact on me. In the first weeks after I found out I was pregnant, I didn't think it was okay for me to still feel the "sting" of infertility or to write about it anymore. However, I keep stumbling across more and more blogs of other girls who went through the fight, are mothers now, and still feel the hurt and pain of that tough time. This blog did start as an infertility blog, and I often pray that someone will stumble upon it and find comfort and hope in our story.

Speaking of stumbling upon things, I stumbled upon this video...

What If: A Portrait of Infertility

There are so many "what ifs" in infertility, and I know everyone who's gone through it has been plagued by the same ones. It is hard to imagine how things can work out in those dark days, but imagine it anyway. Let the last "what if" that goes through your mind be "What if this all turns out better than I ever imagined it could?" And you never know, it just might.

Loving this baby

We had an appointment today with my high risk doctor to look at my cervical length, but the sweet ultrasound lady did an ultrasound on my stomach first so we could see what Cooper was up to this morning. Last time we went for a cervical check, they only looked at my cervix, so this was a nice surprise. With each ultrasound I am more in awe of this little baby. The things he does, the way he moves, the rate at which he's growing all just melt my heart! Today my favorite part was seeing him yawn. I didn't know he could do that! As he yawned, we could see his little tongue moving in his mouth. We also saw that Cooper has chubby cheeks today, which he definitely gets from me, but it looks like he has Karl's mouth. It will be so neat to see who this baby looks like.

My cervical length was good. The only way to get a true measurement on cervical length is with a vaginal ultrasound, so I knew the measurement from last week at the ob's office was not truly accurate since it was done during an abdominal ultrasound; however, it was nice to think that my cervix had grown! My measurement today was the exact same as it was 3 weeks ago, which is good. There wasn't any shortening or funneling, and that is definitely a blessing. I hope it stays that way too! Dr. G. said once I hit 24 weeks, he probably won't measure anymore since the baby can survive if born after that point. My goal is to make it to at least 36 weeks, and I can't even tell you how excited I would be if I was still pregnant after my due date!

Blessed

Do you ever have those moments where you look around and are amazed by your own life? At times it seems so extraordinary that you can't believe it could be possibly be your life? I have these moments often. Sometimes I would have these moments when we were walking through our infertility journey, and the acceptance of the situation could bring immediate tears to my eyes. However, more often than not, these moments bring me a joy that fills every ounce of my being.

Many mornings when I walk into my classroom and the morning light shines across the room or I'm sitting in my rocking chair reading to my students and I look at their little faces, I can't believe that I'm living a dream I played as a child, where instead of a classroom and students I had stuffed animals lined up in rows in my bedroom and a little chalk board I used to teach them whatever crossed my mind.

After 4 years of marriage, I find myself quite often looking at Karl and being unable to believe I'm his wife. It feels like I should still be 12 years old staring googly eyed at him through the dining room window as he and the other boys who grew up on our street play baseball in the cul-de-sac in front of my house, and this life we've created together is nothing more than a fantasy I'm daydreaming about at that moment.

Tonight I walked into our guest room, which is where all Cooper's things are being stored right now until his room is ready for them to be moved into. Upon opening the door and turning on the light, I just stopped and stared. Clothes are laid out all over the bed in stacks based on their little sizes. Bathroom supplies, diapers, and wipes are in a corner. Toys and his stroller line the wall. Burp cloths, bibs, and blankets are piled in a chair. Are all those precious baby things really for my child? Has God really granted me this desire of my heart? I have similar moments every time I pass by a window or a mirror and see my reflection. The belly that sticks out is actually housing my son as he grows and develops. My son.

How humble my heart feels at these moments, and there are so many of them. With each dream come true, I can't describe how blessed I feel. As a little girl, I dreamed of being a teacher. As a young teenager, I dreamed of marrying Karl. But always, there was the dream of being a mommy. A dream I have longed for as long as I can remember and not-so-long-ago thought might always be out of my reach is now my reality. God has truly given me a blessed life.

The 4 B's of Pregnancy

1. Boobs

2. Belly

3. Butt

4. BIG

I love how my body is changing with this pregnancy, and I especially love that my first 3 listed B's have already grown so much! I know this feeling might change as the months progress, but I truly don't think so. I get great joy at looking down and seeing cleavage (never had that before) and looking back and seeing a butt. Of course my favorite is turning to the side and seeing the growing belly that sticks out!

19 weeks

Good Doctor's Appointment

We had our 18 week appointment today, and it went great. After the appointment a month ago when my cervix looked short and showed possible funneling, I have been very nervous about doctor's appointments! Today my cervix actually measured longer than it has at any point. God sure does answer prayers! I was so excited about the measurement that I was ready to dance around the room! :)

Little Man looked really great! I haven't seen him for 4 weeks now, so I couldn't wait to see him! Today we could see his stomach, bladder, kidneys, ears, and so much more. He wasn't doing his normal acrobatics for us, but he did kick some, roll over so we could get a good look at his spine and brain, and rub his face with his hand. While we were waiting I could feel him moving a lot, so I think he wore himself out before the ultrasound! It was precious to see him rub his face though. At one point he rolled on his side, and it looked like he was looking right at us. He measured larger than his age again today (he is now 7 inches long and weighs 1/2 a pound). Typically, he has measured 2-3 days ahead, but today he was 8 days ahead. The ultrasound tech said we might have just miscalculated my ovulation. I almost laughed because there was so miscalculating that with us! However, there is a possibility that he might have been conceived at home a couple nights before the IUI since he has always been a couple days bigger than the calculations show, and Karl and I like to think that's how it happened. :) I really got tickled when she measured his stomach. It measured 19 weeks, 6 days (keep in mind I'm only 18 weeks, 2 days). Little Man is going to be a chunk!! She commented that he definitely seems to be well fed!

As we watched him on the screen, I just keep thinking of all the prayers have been already been answered. He is a blessed baby to have had so many people pray for him all along, and Karl and I sure are blessed to have so many people-some we don't even know-pray for us and our baby.