One

My little baby is going to be one soon. Unbelievable.

It's been a sentimental day in this house. So many times today I've caught myself gazing at my little boy and thinking, "This time last year you were in my belly." Now he zips and zooms through our house from one room to the next, always ready to move some furniture (he loves to push the chairs and stools through the house), slam some doors, or tear up (or eat) whatever strikes his fancy. This time last year he rolled from one side to the next in my womb, pushing his foot and knee and elbows firmly against his tight surroundings. Tonight he ran across his crib as we played our peek-a-boo game. This time last year I had never even held him. Now I'm about to sneak him out of his crib (once I'm sure he's good and asleep...made the mistake lately of going in there too soon...) and rock him for a little while.

I've played his birth day through my mind so many times in the past week. So many bits and pieces of that day stand out so vividly in my mind. Karl and I woke up at 1:30 in the morning, and neither one of us could fall back asleep. Once we got to the hospital, Karl dropped me off at Labor and Delivery and went to park our car. I signed in, was shown my room, and given my gown. As I changed clothes, I remember thinking, "This is it. We did it!" Cooper was a full term baby as we had prayed he would be. By the time Karl found me, I was already in the bed hooked up to the monitor. We spent the next two hours chatting with our nurse, getting the epidural, having my cerclage taken out, and signing all the paperwork. Then it was time. As they wheeled me to the operating room, I was overcome with emotion. All of the sudden I was so scared of the surgery, and the magnitude of what was about to happen produced a waterfall of tears. I cried the whole time I was in the OR. The tears were a mixture of fear of the surgery, relief that the pregnancy was over, sadness that the pregnancy was over, and pure joy of meeting our baby. When I saw Cooper for the first time, I couldn't believe he was ours. He was so beautiful and perfect. His cry was so loud, and he cried for quite awhile to show us that his 37 1/2 week lungs were fully developed! I held him briefly before Karl took him to show our families. When I held him again in the recovery room, I just couldn't believe he was here and he was ours. We had our baby, finally.

Now here we are a year later. It's been quite a year. A wonderful, crazy, amazing year. We've had ups and downs, successes and disasters, and lots of laughter and tears. I wouldn't trade a second of this year for anything, and I would happily live it all over again if given the chance. I spent the 27 years of my life before Cooper wanting to be a mommy and the 18 months before he was conceived praying and begging God for the opportunity to be a mommy. I spent many days daydreaming about what it would be like to be a mom, to have a child. In all my dreams, I never could have imagined it would be so wonderful. I love being a mom. I love being Cooper's mom.

Thankful

Sometimes my heart fills to the brim with a joy that cannot be put into words. It happens when I open the car door to get Cooper out of his car seat and he goes crazy with excitement. It happens when I wake up to hear a sweet little voice over the monitor. It happens as I watch his huge smile rise above furniture as he plays Peek A Boo. It happens when he crawls to my legs and reaches his arms up for me to hold him. It happens when I push him in his stroller and he turns his head around so he can see me.

Miscellaneous moments. Little moments. The moments I so desperately longed for not so long ago.

Lately there have been a lot of those little moments though. My baby boy will be one soon, and a great wave of reflection and thankfulness has come over me. The other day as I wrapped a Mickey Mouse fire engine and little tool set in Happy Birthday wrapping paper, my eyes grew misty. Karl and I went through so much to have a baby, and now our little baby is turning one. How did that happen?

Not a day goes by that at some point I am not overwhelmed with gratitude for what God has done for us. He was faithful to his word despite how unfaithful I was. He said he would fulfill the desires of my heart.

And how very, very grateful I am that he did.

Sweetness

I love this little boy more than I ever thought I could love anything.

I love watching him grow and learn.

I love how he plays and explores.

I love when he reaches for me to hold him and crawls to the door when I tell him his daddy is home.

I love the sweetness of an 11 month old little boy.

My little boy.

Food Battles

Oh, Cooper...

What is it with my child and eating?! Last week Cooper decided he didn't want his bottle anymore, which is fine since he's almost a year old. He had been drinking 4 6-oz bottles a day, and he quickly cut out one and then two of those bottles early last week. By the end of the week, he was only drinking his morning bottle, and I was getting him up at night before I went to bed to give him another bottle (possibly risking starting a horrible habit too).

We had been practicing with the sippy cup with little luck before then (he liked to crawl around while holding it in his mouth with his teeth); however, once he figured out how that thing worked, he started to boycott his bottle. The new problem, though, is that he won't drink formula out of the sippy cup. I called the pediatrician's office and they said to go ahead and try whole milk. Of course, he won't drink that either...yet. He loves water and apple juice though. This kid gives me quite some major headaches over eating!

Anyway, I've also been trying to get him to eat more real food and less baby food and to do it by himself when he can. This, of course, is also not smooth sailing for us. He is so picky, and I just don't know what to do!!!

For his first all-real-food meal, I gave him mashed sweet potatoes, bananas, and cheese-all his favorites. He did pretty good too. I was very proud of him.

He was some kind of a mess when he was done, so I carried him to the kitchen sink and sprayed him off. He loved that!

After a quick clothes change, he even took an interest in loading his plate in the dishwasher...

or maybe it was just an interest in the dishwasher itself. :)

What's Taking So Long?

Karl visits the "library" (aka the bathroom) every morning (and sometimes afternoon too), where he spends a substantial amount of time because "you're not supposed to rush it". I just don't get it though. Get in there, do your business, get out. From talking to many wives, I understand this is a man thing, but nonetheless, it still drives me crazy. I barely have time to pee during the day, much less spend 15 or more minutes in the bathroom, and I never get to go by myself. I mean, seriously, what takes so long?

However, lately even our dog and son seem a little curious about why Daddy spends so long in there...

Karl said Cooper sticks his hand under the door and he can hear Sadie sniffing and sometimes even pawing the door.

Peek A Boo

It is so fun to see Cooper's personality develop and discover with him what he likes and doesn't like. As I've said many times, he is curious. Everything needs to be explored (and tasted). He is very active and loves to play ALL the time. Although he loves to chase and be chased (laughing and crawling as fast as he can), his favorite game to play is peek-a-boo, and he tries to play it all the time with anyone who looks at him-me, Karl, Sadie, people at the grocery store and pool, his stuffed animals, whoever/whatever! This started a while back when I would play peek a boo with him when he was in his crib. I would duck beside his crib or around the corner and jump out saying, "Peek a boo, I gonna get you!" and Cooper would squeal and laugh and wiggle all around his crib. When I would get to him, I would start tickling him, and he would laugh harder than ever before. Then he would stand up, start dancing, and wait for me to jump out again. Precious moments! It didn't take long for Cooper to understand how this game is played, and he started initiating it. He uses blankets, clothes, Karl's hats, doors (loves to open and close the doors!) and his curtains to hide himself. I love when he uses the curtains in his room because he gets so excited. He pulls them over him, often leaving his little feet exposed, and starts giggling. I get so tickled at those little giggles because he does it softly, but it's like he is just too excited to be silent. Sometimes he'll wait for me to pull the curtain away, and sometimes he does it first. I always yell, "Peek a boo!" and he goes crazy!

(sorry the pictures are so blurry...this is a fast paced game so I had to snap the pictures before my camera could focus!)

11 Months

1 month less than 1 year...

Every day and in so many ways it becomes more apparent that Cooper is becoming less of a baby and more of a toddler. He loves to be on the go, just about refuses to eat baby food anymore, "talks" all.the.time, and has even thrown some impressive temper tantrums lately. The triggers for his tantrums have shown us a lot about his personality too, which has further proved to us that he is in fact our son and we have some interesting times ahead of us. For instance, he threw quite the fit when his bottle was not warmed up to the warmth he is used to receiving. He also gets pretty upset when you try to put him in his fancy and fun exercauser. He prefers to play with it from the outside. Despite this recent somewhat-rude introduction into toddlerhood, we have one sweet and happy little boy. He rarely cries or fusses, loves attention from anyone, is entertained by everything, and is very observant and will notice even small little changes in things. Although he has become a little stingy with his kisses and refuses to just be held (you can hold him if you're moving around or there's something for him to see or do), he is very, very loving and friendly. He "dances" when his daddy comes home from work, brings toys over to me and sits in my lap to play with them, and laughs with delight when Sadie comes into the room. I know much of his personality has yet to unfold and he will change with time, but I pray his enthusiasm, curiosity, kindness, and determination continue to strengthen.

Now onto our photo shoot! I think this is how Coop and I both felt about it...

"Again?! How much longer do we have to do this? AHHHHH!!!"

And because the photo shoot wasn't going very well at all, I gave him his comb in hopes of keeping him somewhat still. I thought I might be able to get a little smile out of him. I just didn't plan on the comb still being in his mouth when he finally did smile!

Then he decided Eli was looking a little rough around the edges this morning.

So he combed him.

He was very proud of his hard work too.

He was even a little bashful when I told him that he was still more handsome than Eli.

Happy 11 Month Birthday, Little Man!