Jake's Birth Story

I feel like my whole pregnancy with Jake was just one answered prayer after another.  When I was still pregnant with Cooper, I prayed that our next child would be conceived naturally and we wouldn't need a specialist or any fertility drugs.  After a year and a half of trying on our own and then two failed Clomid cycles, Karl and I decided to wait several months before doing another medicated cycle.  Jake was conceived during that break.  After my first HCG test came back kind of low, I prayed for good numbers on the next test.  Prayer answered.  We got to see and hear the baby's heartbeat at our first appointment.  Prayer answered again.  After I failed my first glucose test, I prayed I wouldn't have gestational diabetes again.  I passed the next two tests.  One prayer after another was answered.  There was never a scare or nervous time of the pregnancy.  My cervix never was short or funneling.  My cerclage never threatened to not hold.  God was so good to us throughout the pregnancy.  As my due date neared, there were many prayers for a healthy baby and a delivery with no complications.  And there was one thing that I don't think I ever actually prayed, but it was a wish I held in my heart.  I wanted to go into labor.  Sounds crazy, huh?!  Cooper's birth was a scheduled c-section, and that's what the plan was for Jake as well.  I felt a little cheated that I didn't experience labor or a normal delivery and more than likely never would.  After talking to my doctor, I decided a normal delivery wasn't best for Jake or me, but I really wanted some part of the normalcy.  We scheduled a c-section, but I told Karl many times that I thought it would be "fun" to go into labor and to just know what labor was like.  I wanted that Honey, we have to go to the hospital, this is really happening moment.  As our scheduled date neared, I just kept hoping for nature to kick in first.  Our To-Do-Before-Jake-Comes List was finally down to those last minute things.  Mentally, physically, and emotionally, we were finally ready for our sweet baby to join us in a couple days.  As we settled in to bed after enjoying one last fun weekend as a family of three, everything seemed normal.  I was having random, sporadic contractions, just as I had been for several weeks (actually less than I had been).  I didn't think anything of them, and I even breathed a sigh of relief.  As much as I wanted to experience labor, I was relieved I had made it through the weekend because at my doctor's appointment the week before, my doctor had told me she was going out of town that weekend.  I told her I didn't like that because our pediatrician was also out of town that weekend, and I didn't like both of them being gone when I was almost 39 weeks pregnant!  However, the weekend was now over, everyone was home, and Baby Jake was still nestled in my womb.  Whew!  I don't remember if I woke up having contractions that were any more noticeable than normal during the night, but by 4:00 am, that had changed!  I woke up in a lot of pain, but the pain was mostly in my back.  I could tell I was having a contraction because my stomach was very tight, but I didn't think the back pain and tightness were connected.  I got up to go to the bathroom thinking that would help.  Normally, any time I changed positions or emptied my bladder, the contractions would ease, but not this time!  The pain was so bad that I felt like I should walk around some.  I tried walking around the house, laying on the sofa, getting back in bed, laying on different sides, but there was no relief.  As much as I had wanted to experience labor, and as much as I had been contracting for weeks, it did not occur to me that what I was feeling was real labor.  The back pain was throwing me off, but I decided that I would tell Karl that he shouldn't go to work that day once he was awake because clearly something was going on in my body.  As the pains continued, I debated waking up Karl, but I kept telling myself if this pain happens again, I'll wake him.  That became my labor motto, and I said that to myself many, many times during the next hour! Again I tried getting up and walking around.  The pains continued, and although they didn't last very long, they were happening way too frequently.  By the time I was hunched over the sofa doubled over in pain, I started to feel really scared.  Was I in labor?  Was this kidney stones?  What was going on?!  I didn't know I would feel contractions so strongly in my back.  I also didn't know that labor could be this fast!  My contractions were never far apart, but they weren't lasting very long either.  I decided to lay back in bed, truly terrified because I didn't know what was happening, and when the next contraction came, I woke up Karl and told him he should pack his bag.  At this point, it was 4:30 am. He groggily told me he would do it later that day, and I told him he needed to do it now because I thought I might be in labor.  He was out of bed, packing, brushing his teeth, and shaving faster than I have ever seen him move in the 18 years I have known him!  He kept telling me to call my dad to come over and watch Cooper.  I kept saying if it happens again.  I turned on the shower, only to find myself doubled over in pain as another contraction hit.  Karl asked what I was doing, and I told him I had to take a shower because I hadn't showered the day before and I would NOT go to the hospital without a shower!  He told me to turn it off because we didn't have time for that.  As I started to argue, another contraction hit, and I knew he was right.  I tried brushing my teeth, and there was another one.  I started just dropping toiletries and clothes in my bag because I couldn't even bend over to put them in.  I couldn't concentrate on anything except the pain in my back.  Karl kept telling me to CALL MY DAD and PLEASE GET READY TO GO.  I kept stalling.  Finally I sent my dad a text at 4:50 that said, "Are you up?  I think I'm in labor."  His response: "THINK??????"  I just didn't know, and all I could think about was in Father of the Bride II when Annie comes out of labor and delivery with her suitcase in hand and says, "You would think I would know what gas feels like at this point."  I was going to be mortified if I caused all this raucous, and I wasn't really in labor.  I was scared to go to the hospital and be sent home, and I was scared to go to the hospital and actually be having the baby that day!  Karl finally got me to call the on-call doctor.  I was trying to tell him what I was feeling and how I didn't know if this is what labor was like because it seemed so different than what I'd heard and I had a cerclage and didn't want the baby tearing through it and etc., etc., etc.  All the while, I was hunched over the island in the kitchen, unable to open my eyes because I was in so much pain.  The doctor was soft spoken, and I don't have the best hearing anyway, not to mention, I couldn't concentrate on anything at that moment.  I didn't understand what he was telling me to do.  Sometimes it sounded like he was telling me to go to my doctor's office when they opened, other times I thought he was saying go to the hospital.  I would repeat back what I thought he said, and then he would say something that sounded different.  I was already so confused by what I was feeling physically, and he wasn't helping me at all!  Then he said, "You keep repeating back to me the opposite of what I'm telling you to do, so just do what you want."  Already scared, already confused, already in denial that I might be having a baby very soon, and this guy says that?!  I apologized and told him I didn't understand what he was saying, so the jerk repeats the same rude remark.  I hung up and started to sob!  I told Karl that I couldn't have the baby because he might be the one delivering it, and he was mean, and I didn't know what to do, and I was in so much pain, and I just couldn't have the baby yet because I wasn't ready!  I was emotional to say the least!  As I laid curled up on the sofa, bawling crying, Karl calmly took control of the situation.  He called my dad.  He started timing the contractions, which had never crossed my mind to do.  He got me up to start packing again.  But I pulled my "one more time" trick one more time.  I convinced him to come lie down with me in bed, and if it happened again, I would get ready to go.  As soon as we laid down, it happened again.  He informed me that only 4 minutes had passed since the last one, and we really needed to go.  He got our bags together as I fumbled around the bathroom trying to find something to put on.  Finally I was dressed, and his patience with me was once again slipping, as I continued to stall and he continued to insist that we HAD TO GO! As I crawled into his truck, the sky was still dark, and I finally admitted that I did think this was actually labor.  I was so scared, but the pain was also so bad that I was finally ready to go to the hospital.  Karl turned his flashers on and we were off!  On the way, the contractions started getting even closer together.  I wiggled and squirmed, but I didn't make a sound.  I wanted everything quiet!  At one point, I did tell Karl that I thought I was going to throw up.  He told me to hang my head out the window.  I refused to hang my head out the window and changed my concentration from the pain to not throwing up.  When we got to the hospital, I crawled out of the truck and was immediately hunched over in pain as another contraction hit, this one just 2 minutes from the previous one.  I realized that I'd been biting my lower lip, which is what I do when I'm upset or apparently in pain.  I also realized if I didn't get an epidural soon, I might bite through my lower lip!  I looked at the doors of the hospital, which weren't far at all, but all I could think was I have to make it through those doors, and then I can collapse.  I walked as best as I could and made it through the doors and up the elevator, and then BAM!  Another contraction.  I hunched over, biting my lip, kept my hands on my knees, and told Karl to go figure out where we were supposed to go because I didn't have a clue and there weren't any signs.  He was back in just a few seconds.  Thank goodness we were on the right floor and just feet away from signing in!  The lady admitted me quickly (thankfully) and had a nurse with a wheelchair come get me (super thankfully).  They took me to the pre-op section of labor and delivery since we knew this would be a c-section.  She handed me a gown and told me to put it on and leave a urine sample.  I was to the point where I was easily agitated and these two tasks felt like she was asking the impossible of me.  Karl ended up having to come in and help me put the gown on and I just hung on to his shoulders as he snapped it up.  I had just dropped my regular clothes on the ground as I took them off, and he gathered everything up and helped me to the bed, where I literally collapsed.  They hooked me up to the monitors, started my IV, and began telling me that if my doctor couldn't make it in time, the on-call doctor (the one I had talked to on the phone) would do the surgery and not to worry because he was a great doctor and very nice.  I told the nurse that no, he wouldn't deliver my baby because he was a rude man and I didn't like him.  That is very unlike me to say so openly!  Proof of the pain!  The monitors showed that I was contracting every 1 1/2-3 minutes, and once again, the nausea started.  They handed me a little blue plastic bag, and right in the knick of time too!  I started throwing up with the contractions, and the pain was quickly becoming too much for me.  I asked for an epidural, and the nurse said I couldn't have one yet because they were having trouble getting in touch with my doctor, and my doctor is the one who would have to order it.  Oh the agitation I felt at that moment!  I didn't say anything and continued squirming in pain but staying silent and biting on my lip as a woman in another part of pre-op moaned and groaned and called to Jesus to help her (at first, Karl and I thought this was funny; as my labor continued, I felt sorry for her; a little further into labor, I wanted to stuff a sock in her mouth to shut her up!).  Finally after a few throw up sessions, the nurse took pity on me and put something in my IV to ease the pain.  It took my pain level back to where it was when we had first gotten to the hospital, and although it wasn't a big relief, it was enough to stop the nausea and throwing up and saved my bottom lip!  Finally, they were able to reach my doctor, and finally, I got my epidural.  Oh sweet relief!  I fell in love with the anesthesiologist.  He was wonderful, fast, and numbed me up so good!  My doctor came in shortly later (I doubt anyone has ever been happier to see her than I was at that moment) and went over our game plan with us.  In just a little bit, we would head over to the OR, she would remove my cerclage, someone would get Karl and bring him in, and then she would do the c-section.  I have never felt so calm--totally unlike me.  After all the emotions, fear, nerves, and preparations, I was finally ready to have this baby, and now I felt nothing but joyful anticipation.  It was time!  Things went exactly as she said they would.  They wheeled me to the OR, and I was beaming.  She removed my cerclage, and everything stayed lighthearted and relaxed, just the way I wanted it.  They brought Karl in, and I still felt so excited and so calm.  She commented that the baby was big, and I knew the surgery had started, and we were just seconds away from the birth of our son.  They pushed hard on my stomach trying to get him out.  He was nestled nice and tight and was not making it easy for them! And then it was the blessed moment you always dream of.  She held up Jake for us to see.  He was much bigger than Cooper when he was born. His hands looked huge. He had a head full of brown hair.  He was perfect.  But he didn't cry.  After a few seconds, I looked at Karl.  Karl seemed fine.  Everyone did.  But I was starting to panic--much more like me.  My doctor handed him to the pediatric nurse.  And then --finally-- he cried.  It was soft and sweet and short, and my heart calmed back down.  They brought him over to me to hold, and it felt like someone had placed Heaven in my hands.

I don't remember what I said to him as I held him, but I know it was one of the proudest moments of my life, and I just wanted it to last forever.  They took pictures of the three of us, and then Karl and Jake went to the recovery room while I got put back together.  The atmosphere stayed relaxed and happy; everything was perfect.  I was shaking pretty bad from the epidural, and then I got nauseous again as they took me off the operating table.  When I got to the recovery room, and they handed Jake to me, I immediately stopped shaking and the nausea was gone.  It was amazing.  They handed him to me, and I held him to my chest, and he started to nurse.  We stayed in the recovery room for about 1 1/2 hours, and he nursed the whole time.  It was all so beautiful and perfect and serene.  What a precious time as you hold and nurture your newborn baby for the first time!

There were so many answered prayers in that morning.  Our baby was healthy.  The surgery went great.  And I got to experience labor!  Karl had asked me (before my epidural) if I still thought labor was "fun."  I'll admit that I was wrong about it being fun to go into labor, but my-oh-my was it special.  I got my honey, we're having a baby today moment, and sure enough, we did!