Time Out

I'm about to have a crazy-mom moment on this blog where I get defensive over something ridiculous, so bear with me.  First I'd like to say that I do not think Cooper is perfect.  He gets in trouble all the time at home.  He can be a handful.  Time outs happen several times a week in this house.  For him and me. But, he is my baby.

As y'all know, Mother's Day Out has been an adjustment.  Throughout September and mid-October, Cooper would get upset if you even said "school" to him.  He would cry when I dropped him off, and although he was fine when I picked him up, I worried that he wasn't enjoying it and having fun while he was there.  To be honest, I wasn't enjoying it either.  It was giving me an opportunity to get chores done around the house, but I missed my boy.  Recently it has gotten a lot better though.  Now there are no tears and clinginess when I drop him off, he doesn't get upset when we talk about school, and my floors are getting vacuumed and mopped at least once a week!

However...

Cooper got sent to time out today at school.  For continuously taking off his clothes.  I laughed when his teachers told me that he wouldn't keep his socks, shoes, and pants on because I go through this with him at home all the time.  I even warned them about it the first time I met them.  The boy loves to be in his diaper or--better yet--naked.  But when I opened his folder and saw on his Daily Sheet that he had to go to time out for it, it made me feel sad.  That's my baby they put in time out!  Of course I know that it is not appropriate for my son to undress in public and more importantly, once he's told not to do something, he shouldn't do it again.  Here's the problem though, I feel like it's a little bit my fault, and it makes me sad that he got in trouble for it.   The child does hate wearing clothes; he always has.  He is hot natured, and I definitely dressed him too warm for today because I thought it was going to be colder than it is and cloudy, not sunny.  If he was hot, that's just how he handles it.  Also, we're working on potty training.  When he needs to go, he normally strips down and goes.  What if he kept taking off his clothes because he was trying to practice his new skill?  Did his teachers even think of that?  Probably not.  They do have 11 other children to tend to after all, and they did tell him several times to stop taking off his clothes.  I know the real problem here is that Cooper disobeyed, not that he continuously took off his clothes.  That makes me feel sad too.  It's upsetting to think of someone else disciplining your child or being upset with them.  It's really upsetting that someone has to discipline your child because your child did something wrong.  

If I was still a teacher today, I would be so different than I was then.  I get it now.  The whole parent side.  I get the phone calls, notes, and emails asking for more information about an incident that resulted in a straight face or sad face rather than the typical happy face on their daily behavior sheet.  I get how defensive parents can be when you discuss an "issue" with them.  I get the sense of wounded pride when they see or find out of a wrongdoing.  I get the walking them to the classroom door to say goodbye in the mornings even though our policy was to use the car rider line.  I get the hanging on for one more second because you just don't want to let them go.  I would have done better, been more patient, been more open, and embraced those things.

This parent thing is tough.  You want to protect them, make them happy, give them all you can and all they need.  It's a fine line though.  You don't want them to be cowardly or selfish or greedy or unappreciative.  One of the greatest lessons I have learned in my life is the satisfaction and appreciation that comes from perseverance.  When you have to work-and work hard-for something.  When it doesn't come easy.  When it isn't a natural ability.  When you have to do it yourself.  And when it's done, you get to look back and know that no one gave it to you, no one did it for you, it was by God's good grace that you got it done.  There's fulfillment in that.  That's where character gets built.  The kind of character I pray my son has.  As much as I want to protect Cooper from every hurt, pain, and disappointment in this world, that's not my job as his mom.  My job is to let him live and let him learn and let him become him.  God will protect and oversee and bless him.  I'll always be here for him though, and most likely restraining myself from rushing in and fighting his battles for him, no matter how silly they are.