The Day My Son Played in the Toilet

Great title, huh?! Sounds exciting, right?!

Playing in the toilet would have been bad enough. Eating the gel disc toilet cleaner in the toilet bowl takes it to a whole new level.

Yes, that's right. My son not only played in the toilet yesterday, he ate some toilet cleaner. Obviously, I'm going to be up for Mother of the Year for 2011.

Yesterday afternoon was a little rough. In fact, as I talked to Karl on my way home from Publix---where Cooper threw a major, loud fit and refused to sit in the cart, which meant I had to carry him with one arm while trying to maneuver the cart through the crowded store with the other, and the boy who bagged my groceries walked off when he was done instead of asking to walk them to my car like he normally offers (and I normally refuse, but I'd already made up my mind that today I would happily accept as my arms were now exhausted and it was 100 degrees outside)---I told him that I was on the verge of tears so not to fuss at me at that moment for not answering my cell phone that he had persistently kept calling while we were in the store. It had been a day. Obviously, this has nothing to do with the toilet, but I was tired and stressed before the toilet incident and feel it adds to the overall picture of our day.

Once home from the store, I unloaded the groceries and Coop and I went into his room to put up his laundry (already wrinkled from getting left in the basket in a pile after being tossed from the dryer before going to the store). Of course, my ADD kicked in about that time, and I decided I needed to clean out his drawers in his dresser. The whole time, Cooper is crawling around his room, unfolding the wrinkled laundry on the floor, opening and closing the door (our new favorite activity), opening and closing the drawers, banging on the door stop...you get the picture-he is right under my feet. However, suddenly, and I mean suddenly, he was not under my feet. He was in the hallway bathroom splashing in the toilet. I run in, pick him up, and then I notice he smells really nice, fresh, and maybe even a little minty. A few minutes before he smelled sweaty and in need of a bath. I look down in the toilet and see the gel disc is smeared in the toilet and the water in the bowl has some bubbles in it. I look at my son, who has a huge smile on his face, and his hands are quite soapy. So, in true Allison fashion, I PANIC! I run to the kitchen and start splashing his face with water, washing out his mouth, washing his hands, cursing, praying, crying, cursing some more, etc. Once again, just call me Mother of the Year 2011. I call Karl to ask him what the name of the stuff in the toilet is because Cooper just ate it, and I'm sure the doctors in the ER will want to know. He doesn't know and isn't helping, so I hang up on him. I then call Poison Control and immediately start sobbing. In my head, I've already convinced myself that DHR will be coming to take my child away from me that evening for being an unfit parent. The lady who answered, bless her sweet heart, was so nice to me. She told me not to worry, that my gel disc was pretty much just water and soap (and a waste of money, as it really doesn't keep your toilet clean), it could've been worse, Cooper is fine, despite my own feelings at the moment, I'm not the worst mother, etc. God bless this lady because she did calm me down. I gave Cooper some water, got him in the tub, fed him, and then talked to the sweet lady when she called back an hour later to make sure we were okay. As I told Karl last night, it doesn't matter how many things you do right; it's that one thing you do wrong that can make the biggest difference. What if he had instead fallen in the toilet? It was the sound of the splashing that caught my attention; if I hadn't heard that, another 2 minutes might have passed before I went to get him, and he could have drown. Perhaps that is a bit extreme and dramatic, but it is possible. I cried all last night when I thought of that. Then I cried more when I thought about when the lady at Poison Control said to just wait until he's two because then he truly will be into everything. Oh good grief! I'm going to need a bigger coffee pot to help me stay alert enough to keep up with this kid!

I guess I can now check "Calling Poison Control" off my to-do list as World's Worst Mom. And just fyi, Poison Control is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. I asked.